


Still Learning How to Lose You

by wanderer765



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 17:29:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11491194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderer765/pseuds/wanderer765
Summary: For my beautiful friend who wanted to read a new Barry & Iris story. Thanks for always encouraging me!This is also for all you other beauties and talents who inspire and support me. Love!





	Still Learning How to Lose You

**Author's Note:**

> For my beautiful friend who wanted to read a new Barry & Iris story. Thanks for always encouraging me! 
> 
> This is also for all you other beauties and talents who inspire and support me. Love!

She's lost in the rhythm of the city. She's so attuned to its pulse these days. It's the living, breathing speedster she lost six and a half months ago, always moving, always keeping her on her toes. She longs for his electricity, but the city grid will have to do for now...or forever. 

 

Six and a half months. 

 

It hasn't gotten easier, but she's gotten better at pretending. She occupies all her time chasing stories, running like she promised him she would do. 

 

She's never still. 

 

He was never still unless she held him in her arms, and even then his skin held a current, always letting her know she was what kept him alive. 

 

She washes the dirt of the day away and winces when she rubs too hard at the dark bruise on her hip. Damn meta. Barry would hate that her body was adorned with scrapes and purple blotches. Evidence of the dangerous situations she ran to and from every day.  

 

She finishes up and dries off, covering her still damp skin in one of his oversized t-shirts. She hears a rumbling in the sky and crawls in to bed, scrunching her eyes shut. 

 

She hates storms. She curses the rain and the thunder, does her best to block out all flashes of lightning. 

 

She hates the lightning the most. 

 

It gives her false hope. Makes her heart believe things her mind knows aren't true. It's not Barry. It will never again be Barry. He's a storm that's long since passed. 

 

Morning and night are the hardest parts of the day. Her memories are filled with their mornings and nights. Of soft touches and quiet whispers. Of skin on skin and lips on lips, moans and clawing nails and laughter. 

 

She tosses and turns as the rain falls outside the window. Deep sleep is a foreigner to her. Awareness is always just beneath the surface and she can never fully tell these days if she's dreaming or awake. It's then when she usually hears his voice or feels his touch, in her not quite dreaming not quite awake state. 

 

Lightning flashes outside her closed eyes. 

 

 _Iris._  

 

She closes them tighter, wishes that the damn lightning would fucking leave her alone. Doesn't it know how broken she is? Can't it feel it?

 

It continues though, lighting her whole room up with its brightness. 

 

_Iris._

 

She covers her ears and sobs, praying for it to pass quickly. 

 

She feels the lightning touch her. It burns her skin. She feels the need in it, the desire. 

 

She opens her eyes and he's standing over her, a soft glow around him as the lightning sparks off his skin. 

 

"Iris...my Iris. 

 

I'm home."

 

She feels a shock make its way through her body and she feels all tingly. She knows it's real because it's the most alive she's felt in six and a half months. Alive in a way that only Barry Allen can make her feel. 

 

"Barry?!"

 

She throws the covers off and jumps into his arms. 

 

"Barry?! You're real?? You're really here??"

 

He leans down to kiss her. 

 

"I'm really here."

 

She burrows herself deep in to his chest, breathes him in, let's the buzzing of his tall, lean body comfort and warm her. 

 

She lifts her head a bit and nuzzles her nose in his neck. 

 

"I didn't think I'd ever feel you again."

 

He softly rocks her and shifts to sit himself back against their headboard. She stays clinging to him, her body on top of his as she molds perfectly to him, curled up in his lap. 

 

She can feel the heat emanating off of him, something she's missed so much. 

 

She pulls at the leather of his suit. 

 

"Off, take it off. I need to feel your skin."

 

He leans forward and she briefly lets go of him so he can rid himself of his suit. Once it's off he lays down flat against the sheets and she drapes her body back over his. 

 

She listens to his heartbeat, feels his chest rise and fall and takes the moment in, searing it into her memory. 

 

He feels a tear drop onto his bare skin and begins to rub soothing circles on her back. 

 

"It's ok baby, I'm here ok? It won't take me away again, I promise."

 

She moves herself up his body and rests on her left elbow. She lifts her right hand and gently touches his face. Her fingers trace along his jawline and sweep slowly across his lips. He watches as her eyes take him in, tears quietly rolling down her face. 

 

It's the first time he gets a good look at her, as her face has been glued to his chest since he returned. She's so beautiful, but he can't help but notice how tired she looks. The lines that crease on her forehead, the slight darkness under her eyes that didn't exist before he left. 

 

She must notice the sadness wash over him because she's kissing him, hard and distracting. She pulls up and lifts the shirt she's wearing over her shoulders. He scans her body and notices the several dark purple spots that cover her torso and the long scrape along her upper arm. 

 

His heart breaks. 

 

She kisses him once more and then lays her body back down along the length of his. 

 

He wants to ask her about the bruises but he doesn't want to upset her. Instead he stays quiet and lets her take from him what she needs. To feel him warm and softly buzzing beneath her. 

 

It's what he needs too. 

 

He's missed holding her in his arms and kissing her. He's missed saying he loves her and having her actually hear him. 

 

And so he says it. Over and over again he says it. 

 

_I love you Iris._

 

Her body relaxes, feeling at home, skin to skin. She allows herself to succumb to her exhaustion, falling into the deep sleep she's been needing for six and a half months. 

 

He's home. 


End file.
